GREENSBORO, N.C. — It's time for my "2 cents."
Dear Grandma, I miss you.
This is a tough topic to talk about — an incredible pain so many of us have, devastatingly, felt. It is the incomparable reality of losing a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly.
May 5 marked what would have been my beloved grandmother's 89th birthday. Four years ago, COVID was at its peak. I had a five-month-old son, my grandma's first great-grandchild. Because of the pandemic, we hadn't been able to fly him to St. Louis to visit her. So, we relied on phone calls and letters while excitedly planning a trip for the fall, when she could hold him in her arms, finally.
That visit never happened. On June 8, 2020, she died. Seemingly, her heart just stopped. God called her home. No warning. No goodbye.
Time is supposed to heal wounds, but I still feel a breathless, stomach-churning sensation, thinking about the unfairness of the loss, the robbed moments and the unmade memories.
Johns Hopkins University acknowledges "sudden loss" leaves survivors shocked and confused. The grief process can take several years, even if the triggers of grief gradually become less intense.
Here is the soul-crushing yet somewhat healing truth about loss — it is the realization there is not a single thing we can do to change it. So, how do we move forward without forgetting?
For me, it is going to tea with my mom on my grandma's birthday every year. It is smiling when I cross paths with a cardinal, her favorite bird. It is showing my children her picture, telling them stories and teaching them her favorite prayer. It is making sure we remember she always is with us.
If you, too, are coping with a loss, your feelings are valid, no matter how long you have been mourning. There is no set time frame for grief. There also is no time like the present...to allow ourselves to heal.
Sincerely,
Meghann
