GREENSBORO, N.C. — It is time for my '2 Cents' -- mom edition.
Do you invite the whole class to your child's birthday party?
As a mom of two young children, I felt a tugging at my heart, when I saw a viral TikTok video sparking the debate. It generated hundreds of comments and personal stories from parents who have treaded the fine line between inclusivity and practicality. This mother invited her child's 25 classmates to a birthday party. Only two RSVPed. In a subsequent video, the mom stood by her decision, emphasizing she wanted everyone to feel included.
I applaud her for that mindset and feel you do invite the whole class -- especially in elementary school. Otherwise, it is a hard truth to swallow -- some children never will be invited to a birthday party.
If there are multiple classes in a grade, then I think inviting only your child's class is fine, but stick to only that class. Avoid handing out invitations at school, and try not to host the party on a school day.
A class party alternative, if cost is a factor (reasonably so), is a one-on-one special day with you and your child -- no distractions, just your full, undivided attention. Or, try a small family party, like we do. Perhaps invite one or two non-school friends, like neighbors, so, for them, the occasion is just a play date.
I still vividly remember a day in fourth grade. Half the girls were talking about going to the hair salon after school for a classmate's party. When the bell rang, I excitedly ran to the car, where my mom gently had to break the news -- and my heart -- I wasn't invited. Seeing the girls come back to school the next day, boasting big smiles and their gorgeous, still-in-tact up-dos -- was salt in the wound.
The counterargument to this class party invite debate is, realistically, children must learn they are not always going to be invited, and it is going to hurt. Yes, that's true. However, they will get plenty of those tough lessons in middle school, high school and adulthood. Why not set a foundation of inclusion in their younger years, all while prepping them for those hard moments and how to respond?
So, yes, if you invite the class -- invite the whole class, but set an RSVP deadline, follow up and send reminders. Though not an excuse for manners, parents these days are busier than ever. Their children are not at fault.
Parents, there is always time for us to teach, and we must work together to send our children this message -- it is cool...to be kind.
That's just my '2 Cents.'
Sincerely,
Meghann