KANNAPOLIS, N.C. -- Tony Stewart said ''it's not been business as usual by any means'' in returning to NASCAR after the death of Kevin Ward Jr. on Aug. 9.
When asked what he would do differently over the past couple of months, he replied: "I'd have stayed at Watkins Glen that night. ... It wasn't a big-paying race. I just wanted to go run my sprint car for a night. I do it to have fun. And it didn't end up being fun that night."
Stewart's remarks came during a 36-minute Monday morning news conference from his team's Stewart-Haas Racing headquarters. Vice president of competition Greg Zipadelli had said the day after the accident at Watkins Glen International that Stewart would race and it was ''business as usual'' with the team.
It marked the first time Stewart took questions from gathered media following Ward Jr.'s death in a sprint car race at Canandaigua Motorsports Park in Upstate New York.
The 43-year-old said after weeks of being secluded in his home when not at a NASCAR track he would start working his way back into social situations, visiting with friends who have shown their support.
"I don't know if it'll ever be normal again," he said. "Before the accident, a day would fly by me. Now a day seems like two-three days. Like the batteries are running low on the clock."
He stood by his comments last week to the Associated Press that he didn't know when -- or if -- he would return to sprint car racing, more than a hobby but a lifestyle for the highly decorated three-time NASCAR champion. He said he had not considered retiring from the sport completely.
He also stressed he was available to the Ward family ''if and when they want to talk." However, "I don't need to talk to them for closure. I know what happened. I know it was an accident."
Last Wednesday, Stewart learned a 23-member grand jury would not indict him in the incident in which Ward exited his wrecked car and walked down the dirt track toward Stewart's car.
Ontario County District Attorney Michael Tantillo also said Wednesday toxicology reports revealed that Ward was under the influence of marijuana at a high enough level to impair judgment.
Tantillo said there were two charges submitted for consideration by the grand jury against Stewart: manslaughter in the second degree and criminally negligent homicide. He said neither received the necessary 12 votes to charge Stewart. The grand jury heard the evidence and testimony from two dozen witness (including drivers, track employees, medical personnel and two accident experts) "over the better part of two days" and deliberated for less than an hour before reaching the decision, Tantillo said.
Stewart said Monday ''there's no point'' in picking sides and was disappointed that some people hadn't changed their opinion after the grand jury's decision was rendered. ''That detail (the toxicology report) didn't mean anything to me. It was an accident.
"All along I knew what had happened," Stewart said of learning the grand jury's decision. "I would be lying if I said there wasn't a piece of relief, but that was very short-lived in my heart. It went right back to the fact that we lost Kevin. We lost a young driver that had a lot of talent."
Stewart has said that moonlighting in sprint cars is not just a hobby but a way to stay connected to the kind of grassroots racing he grew up on in Indiana. His focus and performance in NASCAR has been tied to how often and how well he does in his sprint cars barnstorming around tiny dirt tracks.
Stewart also owns Eldora Speedway, site of a NASCAR Camping World Truck Series race the past two seasons, and is part owner of two other tracks.
Stewart also thanked his sponsors, including Mobil 1 (''the support from them has been amazing''), Bass Pro Shops and Rush Truck Centers. "Tough circumstance for a corporation to be a part of, but they've been supportive.
"I can't speak to the future, but they've been supportive and I'm grateful."
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