GUILFORD COUNTY, N.C. — Growing up, we all dream of where we will be as adults — careers, where we'll live, when we'll get married, and how many kids we hope to have.
For millions of couples, the seemingly simple plan to start a family can become an emotional journey with twists and turns few would ever dream of.
"Five years ago, I would've never thought we would be where we are. Every year, every holiday, every family vacation, every milestone you go through and you think in your mind that next year will be different," Samantha Crews said.
"Every year when we go to the beach, next year is going to be different. We will have our own child next year. It's been five years and it's never been different. "
Awareness about infertility has increased over the last several years.
Everyone’s infertility journey is also different.
For WFMY News 2's Daniel Crews and his wife, Samantha, the last five years have involved surgeries, countless tests, shots, medications, one hospital stay, one egg retrieval, and many sleepless nights.
"It takes a lot out of you. It takes a lot out of your body. It takes a lot out of you emotionally and sometimes it gets hard to keep going, but yet we keep going; we haven't given up yet," Samantha Crews said.
In 2022, through the miracle of science, the couple was able to freeze 12 embryos.
In October 2023, the two finally had their first embryo transfer.
Days later, it was heartbreaking for them to learn, the transfer was unsuccessful.
"It's a loss. We had a failed transfer, we lost one of our embryos, and that was a potential child," Samantha Crews said.
"That's a loss that you have to allow yourself to grieve and I think it's a part of infertility that's not really talked about," she said.
"Infertility is a disorder that affects one in six couples," Dr. Tamer Yalcinkaya said.
In 2021, around 3% of babies born in the U.S. were the result of some form of fertility treatment.
Although that may seem low, the statistic has tripled since 2003.
"That's due to the availability of very specific and very successful treatment methods," Yalcinkaya said.
Yalcinkaya, Medical Director at Carolinas Fertility Institute in Winston-Salem, said the science around reproductive medicine has primarily been focused on treatments rather than testing to find a root cause.
About 30% of fertility struggles are linked to a female partner, and 30% can also be linked to a male partner.
However, unexplained infertility can leave about 40% of couples with more questions than answers.
Advances in treatments such as Invitro Fertilization or IVF have given many couples a mere chance to become parents.
"It has been able to produce single babies, single-term pregnancies, with great accuracy," Yalcinkaya said.
Even with scientific advances, the success rate of IVF is only 55% for women under 35.
The success rate decreases, slightly, with age.
However, the success rate can increase with each embryo transfer.
In addition to the emotional toll this journey can take, it's also expensive.
A single round of IVF can total more than $20,000 and is not covered under most insurance plans.
"It's expensive. It's countless appointments. You're going early in the morning, and sometimes you're going to hide it from your coworkers and your family and friends," Sarah Ekis said.
"You get to the clinic at 6:30 in the morning, sometimes you have an ultrasound, and blood work drawn, and you have to go multiple days in a row," she said.
"There's just a lot to it, but I don't think people fully understand."
Ekis and her husband underwent ten years of fertility treatments before finding success with donor embryos.
Now, with two children of her own, Ekis is focused on supporting others through their infertility journey.
She leads a support group based out of Charlotte, through RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association.
The group met virtually throughout the pandemic, allowing women and couples from Greensboro to join.
Together they shared their journeys, the struggles of infertility, and the successes that have become answered prayers.
"I never want anyone else to feel as lonely as I felt on a journey. If just one person can get up there and see the journey and say that I've gone through this and see how hard it is, I think it helps other people to hear that," Ekis said.
"Even if people aren't ready to come out and talk about their own journey just knowing that someone else is out there talking about it I think is helpful."
"Just being able to meet other couples, other women, who have gone through this who cheer you on, who say 'yeah, this journey is hard and it sucks.' It does," Samantha Crews said.
"Also, just the other women that give you the permission and validate your feelings, but also give you the permission to say 'hey, if you were done that's okay too.' This is a lot and if you're done it's okay."
If you haven't experienced the highs and lows of infertility, it can be hard to understand why.
Why it's so difficult, why it's so emotionally taxing, and why it's not as easy for you as it seems for everyone else?
"Be understanding, be aware that they might need some space from things that are baby-related and that they are happy for you, but they are just not able to do it necessarily because what they're going through is trauma and it's hard and it's lonely sometimes," Ekis said.
"I think about when we got married. Part of our guest book had things that people filled out, including what year we were going to have children. I don't know that we have looked at that in a while and I just wonder if anybody had put 2024, which is what we hope, now," Samantha Crews said.
"Do we know that's going to happen? No. But, I wonder if anybody even thought that it would take us this long. When you get married everything is blissful and happy; you don't think about what could be." she said.
As for the next chapter in Daniel and Samantha's story, they are currently arranging their second embryo transfer that through faith, family, and the support of one another will be successful.
Bringing the greatest gift of all — just in time for the holiday season.
For couples struggling to conceive, Yalcinkaya encourages you to seek expert help to try and identify a cause and path to success.
Most couples who have been trying to conceive for one year with no success are encouraged to consult with a reproductive specialist.
For women with a history of endometriosis, or abdominal surgery, or if you are over 35 it's recommended that you consult a professional after six months.
Reproductive medicine continues to evolve as well.
Yalcinkaya said some advances could one day help a male partner father a baby, even if he is not producing sperm.
Those advances are decades away from potentially becoming a reality, but are just one more way that hopeful couples around the world should have faith that they too, will one day become parents.