GREENSBORO, N.C. — Of all the "what could go wrong" scenarios brides-to-be contemplate before their walks down the aisle, not even the most extreme nuptial nightmares could have surmised a universal health crisis would be the ultimate wedding crasher.
It’s certainly tough to declare, “I do,” when a global pandemic objects.
“It was running smoothly. I feel like I had everything planned, then when COVID hit, I was like, ‘Oh, no. What am I going to do?’” Charlotte bride Meghan Darst Fisher told WFMY News 2's Meghann Mollerus.
Like many women, Fisher wanted a fairy tale.
“I definitely was one of those girls who did dream of my big day,” she said.
Engaged to her best friend Adam for nearly a year, she was in the home stretch. It was early March, two months to the big day.
“I remember, I was at Total Wine, and my vendor called, and I just kind of broke down in Total Wine. Strangers were looking at me. No one could console me because they can’t. You can’t hug anyone,” she said.
Meanwhile, her Triad-based wedding planners, Britni Botts and Amanda Ward with “A Touch of Southern,” were getting their own bad taste of 2020.
“I don’t think it was until, maybe, May, when we realized how big of an impact it (COVID-19) was going to make, because of how many reschedules,” Botts said. “Things just weren’t getting any better. A lot of our brides from spring…we thought by fall, this was going to be a thing of the past.”
It isn’t, and receptions have rules under North Carolina’s phased reopening process.
The most recent executive order, EO 176, – extended and modified by Gov. Roy Cooper Nov. 11 -- holds a cap on mass gatherings. There can be only 10 people inside or 50 outside. That said, under Phase 3, there is an apparent caveat for receptions. Venues like museums or restaurants can hold larger receptions under their reduced business occupancy. In most cases, that is a maximum of 100 people or 30 percent of the fire capacity, whichever is fewer. But, these receptions must be seated affairs with distancing (and without cocktail hour or dancing).
No matter the reception format, these limits apply to more than the guest count.
“Vendors could easily take up half of your numbers, if not done correctly,” Botts said.
Yet, there is no such guest list limit for wedding ceremonies, protected by the U.S. Constitution’s freedom of religion. The NC State Health Department confirmed to WFMY News 2 at least four COVID-19 clusters have been linked to weddings since March, a statistic an NCDHHS spokesperson called an “undercount,” as wedding venues are not required to report outbreaks.
So, wedding planners and their couples are in a tight spot.
“About 80% of my brides now choose the same location for the ceremony and reception, so it’s been really difficult to try to figure out how do we have a ceremony that’s not capped – we invite everyone; everyone’s welcome – and then push away people without being rude. ‘You didn’t make the cut, I’m so sorry.”’ Botts said.
She explained that is why half of her couples scale back but press on with the entire affair – now dubbed a “micro-wedding.” The other half postpone, perhaps indefinitely.
“We’re just at the mercy of whatever is going to happen next,” Botts said.
Psychotherapist Nannette Funderburk, Ph.D., LCMHC-S, owner of the Social and Emotional Learning Group, explained the anxiety can be debilitating.
“For many of us, we have thoughts of the wedding throughout childhood, up to the point where it actually happens. So, for something like this to occur, something as unprecedented as this, it really throws a wrench in things, and oftentimes, we don’t deal well with the unexpected,” Funderburk said.
She suggested couples tune out others’ opinions and go with their guts.
“You’ll want to hear what it (your gut) has to say and go ahead and make that decision as a unit. This might be the first huge decision the couple has to make together,” she said.
The Fishers decided not to delay.
“We sat down that day and talked about what was most important. We knew the marriage was most important, not the big party. Of course, we grieved it, but if all you do is think about the negative, then you don’t move forward in a positive direction,” Fisher said.
Their third reschedule was the charm – a quaint beach wedding with only immediate family and a small band. Friends watched via live stream.
“Everyone was there for us, and…I’m about to get emotional, but it was really cool. It was awesome,” she said with tears in her eyes.
Because, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, love always says yes.
