GREENSBORO, N.C. — When it comes to relationships, we hear a lot about red flags, which many people consider break-up signs. Although it's important to watch for signs of an unhealthy relationship, are all concerning behaviors red flags?
A red flag could have different meanings to different people. Let me explain. Some people consider a red flag as a relationship-ending behavior or situation. A red flag means the relationship is over. Whereas other people might view a red flag as a caution, something to pay attention to, it doesn't mean it's a deal breaker, or the relationship is over.
Talking about red flags in your relationship can cause anxiety, fear, and uncertainty and lead one partner to think that the relationship is over. If a partner says something is a "red flag," it can lead the other partner to believe the relationship is threatened, which may not be true. This is why you and your partner must agree on what behaviors are red flags.
Here's an alternative to categorizing concerning behaviors.
You and your partner should agree on deal breakers and what behaviors you consider red flags. Here's an idea of how to talk about behaviors that give you pause. Consider red flags as non-negotiables and deal breakers, more severe and damaging behaviors. And think about yellow flags as caution. You and your partner are willing to address and find solutions to behaviors that are concerning. Yellow flags can turn into red flags. Examples of red flags are cheating, flirting, gambling, and addictions. Yellow flags include minimizing your perspective or feelings, showing disrespectful behavior, and losing tempers quickly.
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