GREENSBORO, N.C. — It's been one week since a gunman killed 7 people and wounded dozens of others at a Fourth of July parade in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park. One story that stands out is that of a little boy lost during the tragic event after the gunman shot his parents. He was wandering the area alone until strangers found him and took him home. This tragedy has prompted renewed conversations among families and law enforcement about the importance of safety plans.
You, as a parent, should plan what they’re going to say before talking to their kids. Ask yourself what’s most important about personal safety you want your kids to know. Is it that you want them to remain as calm as possible? Do you want them to know who to turn to in an emergency? Or, where to meet you if you get separated?
Thinking through what you want to say tends to decrease your anxiety in talking about such an unpleasant topic because you’re focused on the message and not reacting to your emotions.
You don’t want to unnecessarily scare your kids when you talk about the harsh realities of life. Talk to your kids about possible shootings as you would a fire or tornado drill at their schools. Keep it business as usual, as the saying goes. You can say something like, “At school, you practice fire and tornado drills, so everyone knows what to do if there’s a fire at school or a tornado. Sometimes, when we’re out in public places, there might be an emergency, like someone might have a gun. If that happens, having a plan of what to do is important to keep us safe. Let’s talk about it…”
Kids are curious and may ask difficult-to-answer questions such as why someone would shoot people, for example. You, as a parent, have to decide what you want your children to know. Your answers should be simple and vary depending on your child’s development level: the younger the child, the more straightforward the answer, usually within a sentence or two.
The main thing you want your kids to know is how to respond in an emergency. Usually, that’s getting to a safe place. You can come up with a safe word, which is one word that, when your child hears it, means that they have to do something to help keep them safe. Come up with a safe word together as a family. An excellent safe word is simple to remember and isn’t used in everyday conversation. The key to safe words is to practice using them periodically.
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