GREENSBORO, N.C. — To love and to honor, to have and to hold, from this day forward...until money disputes do you part?
That last phrase definitely was not in your vows, but a recent SunTrust Bank survey by Harris Poll found 35% of people blame finances for relationship stress.
Financial literacy author and Debt Sucks University founder Ja'Net Adams explained the phrase "for the love of money" carries weight.
Talk About It
She suggests to her clients they talk about money early, even in the first few months of courtship, to ensure goals align.
"Many couples get in trouble, because they don't talk about money. You can even discuss finances in the early stages of dating -- not how much money you make but financial topics like investing or retirement. You could even discuss the importance of saving money. If you are on a date talking about the importance of an emergency fund, and your date is talking about "YOLO" (you only live once), that person might not be a good fit for you," she said.
No Contract, No Combining
Adams' next point might ruffle some feathers, especially in the modern dating world where couples are getting engaged and married later. But, she said, it is important -- be married or in a legal domestic partnership before merging accounts and making large joint purchases.
"You may be head over heels in love, but if you are not married or don't have some kind of contract in place, then don't combine your money. So many people get in financial trouble, because they have cosigned for a car or moved into an apartment together. The relationship goes bad, and all of a sudden the person you used to love more than life itself has moved out, and you have to pay the total rent payment each month. Keep your money separate to avoid this heartbreak," she said.
You Are One
For couples who are married, Adams recommends the opposite.
"Once you get married, you are now a team, especially when it comes to your finances. It is no longer their debt. It is our debt, so we pay it off together as as team. Financial goals are planned together, so there is no confusion where our money will be focused going forward. There is no more me, it is only we, and if we want to buy a home, then we will be cutting back our expenses and saving for that home," she said.
With love comes finances, she concluded. "Eventually, they will collide, so make sure you are open to talking about money early and often."