GREENSBORO, N.C. — Parents do a lot much for their kids, particularly handling their problems. Parents are intervening on their child's behalf, whether with the teacher, principal, coach, or other parents. And rightly so, depending on their kid's age. It's a habit that many parents continue to solve their kids' problems. The issue is that your kids get dependent on you to fix the situations that they're in.
The problem is that as some kids get older, they've gotten so used to their parents handling their issues that they're not sure how to solve them themselves. And they keep asking mom and dad for help.
It's a habit that many parents continue to solve their kids' problems. It's just like if you cook them dinner every night. You don't think about them cooking for themselves. Or, you might not like the way they handle issues and prefer to fix them yourself. The issue is that your kids get dependent on you to fix the situations that they're in. If you continue to handle the problems, they won't learn to do it themselves.
Kids gain a lot of confidence by solving their problems. They learn they have what it takes to figure things out for themselves. With practice, they'll improve at coming up with solutions, executing them, and evaluating their effectiveness. And this is a life skill they need at school, college, work, and everywhere.
When your kids ask you to handle situations for them, guide their thinking. Ask what's the problem and come up with different solutions. You can come up with ideas as well. You want to get them to think. Ask them to implement a solution. And teach them how to evaluate the results. Sometimes, the solution they pick won't work, and that's part of the learning process. Help them think through what didn't work and why.
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