Today is American Family Day. As much as we love our families, there are times that we don’t see eye-to-eye. There can be arguments, hurt feelings, and silent treatments that can last for decades. Here are a few things to remember if you’re on the outs with your family.
The people you love the most can hurt you the deepest. There are unspoken, unwritten expectations that your family will love you unconditionally, respect and support you, and be loyal to you. If they do something that crosses the line where you feel disrespected, unloved, or betrayed, then the wound runs deep like a river. And some people don’t, won’t, or can’t bounce back from it.
It can seem more challenging to let go or forgive a family member who hurt you. This happens because when it comes to your family, you tend to feel like they should have known better. So, you’re less likely to give them a pass on whatever they did to hurt you.
You tend to have higher expectations for your family than others. They’re your mom, dad, brother, or sister. You think, “how could they have done this to me?” How could they believe that it could be okay to do X, Y, or Z. You take family’s transgression as more personal.
It can be hard to handle when you’re on the outs with your family or a particular family member, mainly when other family members try to get you to mend fences.
Realize that you don’t have to talk about the situation with anyone. You can respectfully tell them you appreciate their concern, but the topic isn’t open for discussion. If you see the person you’re on the outs with, you can be cordial and leave it at that.
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