When you feel criticized, it’s natural to get defensive. And as much as you try to camouflage your feelings, your body language can give you away. And you might not even realize it.
So when you feel defensive, you’re naturally cover vulnerable parts of your body to emotionally protect yourself from what you’re hearing and how you’re feeling.
You might cross your arms. Or, you might do a partial arm cross. On a side note, being cold or feeling nervous are other reasons you might cross your arms.
You might touch or rub the back of your neck.
Or, you might get smaller – meaning you go into what I call – body lockdown – where you bring in your arms, legs, hunch shoulders as if you want to disappear.
So imagine a potential employer questioning you about your work experience, for example, and you get defensive. You can sabotage yourself in the interview because someone’s perception of you becomes their reality of you.
What do you do? Take a deep breath to help ease muscle tension (you can even squeeze your toes in your shoes), separate your emotion from the message, acknowledge what you heard (that doesn’t mean you agree with it) and clarify.
Share your thoughts with me on Twitter at @blancacobb. Remember to use the hash tag #BlancaOn2. Or, you can find me on my facebook page.
Blanca Cobb is a WFMY News 2 Contributing Editor, body language expert and keynote speaker/trainer who covers nonverbal communication, psychology and behavior. Follow her @blancacobb. The opinions expressed in this article are exclusively hers.
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