Summer is in full swing. For some families, it’s a summer of fun and work. While for other families, it’s bittersweet as their recent high school graduate may be heading off to college in the fall. This may not be an easy transition for all parents as their soon-to-be college student heads off to school.
There are some parents whose identity is being a parent. Besides working, a significant part of their life has been being mom or dad. When your high school graduate goes off to college and isn’t home every day, there’s a feeling of loss and being lost. Loss because they’re not home every day, and it hurts. And some might feel lost because you’re not parenting every day.
Here are a few ideas on adjusting to your college student not being home. If you’re feeling sad and missing your kid, it’s a good idea to distract yourself. If you have other children at home, focus on them. Get involved in the community, volunteer, hang out with friends, and start a new work project. Get support from your spouse or partner. When you’re sad, reframe your thinking from feeling the loss of your college student starting their life. Realize that your college student still needs you, but differently from when they lived at home.
A common mistake parents make when talking to or texting their college students is unloading their emotions. There’s a difference between telling your student that you miss them and getting upset that they don’t want to come home to visit or don’t want you to visit them on campus. Realize that your college student is trying to adjust themselves. Typically, this is their first dose of independence, and they’re trying to figure it out. Just because they don’t come home as often as you’d like or don’t want you to visit doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or that you’re not important.
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