'The harder he rebelled:' NC teenager's tragic choice is lesson in youth decision-making

"Chandler was always a really sweet, loving, just always-wanted-to-cuddle-with-you kid," recalled mom Tara Wood in reminiscing about her youngest son's childhood.

She described him as a joyful boy who loved sports.

"Just loved being outdoors. Never got into playing video games. He was always such a good kid. Such a good kid," she said.

Unfortunately, middle school brought roadblocks. Chandler Wood's grandmother, Tereasa Wood, recalled how the family struggled to keep him on track.

"Tara tried really hard, but it seemed like the harder she tried sometimes, the harder he rebelled," she recalled.

Tara Wood added, "Around the eighth grade, he just started getting into a lot of trouble at school. I felt like I was constantly being called to go to the school for something."

She said the substance use began with tobacco. Then, when high school rolled around, Chandler Wood veered farther off course.

"He started experimenting with drinking and marijuana, which ultimately led to cocaine and pills," Tara Wood said.

At 16, Chandler Wood dropped out of high school and had trouble keeping a job. At 19, his reckless streak gained speed, and last December, he got behind the wheel -- on a curvy road in Snow Camp -- drunk.

As his hospital report details, Chandler Wood was driving 100 miles per hour -- unbuckled -- when he ejected 50 feet into a tree. There, he found himself entangled in vines...and caught in a crossroads of impulse, where too many other teens have traveled.

"We try to teach young people the importance of making safe and responsible choices in their lives," explained Alamance Co. Sgt. Chad Laws.

Stories like Chandler Wood's are why, for two decades, Laws has 'dared' impressionable youth to make good choices.

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"It's more than just a drug and alcohol prevention program these days. We teach them about stress, how to relieve stress and how to communicate effectively," Laws explained.

The national D.A.R.E. program starts in fifth grade in participating schools, with a reinforcement class in seventh. D.A.R.E. instructors, like Laws, work against the clock to make the message click. 

"Unfortunately, I have seen some former students make poor choices, and unfortunately, I just attended the funeral a month ago of a former student, who had a drug problem as they got into their teenage years," Laws said.

Laws knows the biggest bully teenagers face is often themselves.

"Most of the structures of the brain are fully formed by the teenage years..." said Cone Health pediatric neurologist Stephanie Wolf, MD. 

She explained, "The piece that really isn't formed even until the mid-20s is the frontal lobe. It's responsible for decision-making, attention, and reasoning, and that is why it makes perfect sense our teenagers don't always have those skills until the mid-20s."

To compensate, she said, teenagers primarily use the amygdala -- the brain's fight-or-flight mechanism -- which is responsible for impulsivity, especially in boys.

"In general, boys are a couple of years behind girls in their prefrontal cortex development... For motor vehicle accidents, boys are more likely than girls to be in motor vehicle accidents because of these decisions," she explained.

That said, the CDC reports the percentage of teenagers who drink and drive in high school has decreased by more than half since 1991.

"Life is about how you recover from these missteps," explained Mount Zion Baptist Church youth pastor Joe Frierson, Jr. 

Frierson has coached hundreds of at-risk teenagers over the years, through his work in ministry and with the counseling and grant program Young and Dangerous.

"We try to encourage them to kind of just take a pause, think and breathe through every decision...and go to your conscious crowd. Go to your caring community and vet it through them. Then, we actually see a wonderful decision can come from that because they're gaining wisdom," Frierson explained.

He believes willpower can win with God.

"I can't tell you the number of youth I've counseled who believe what I have right now is all that there is to be. So, it is faith, when faith is inserted, you say no, you can still dream. You can still envision. You can still reach," he emphasized.

In turn, someone might just reach back.

The 911 call from Chandler Wood's accident revealed a woman called for help, after hearing the wreck and finding Chandler Wood lying lifeless in her front yard.

"He is breathing! Oh, my God, he's breathing!" she exclaimed to the dispatcher.

The caller, who told WFMY News 2 she wished to stay private, stayed with Chandler Wood until paramedics arrived. Until now, Chandler Wood's family didn't know who reached for his hand that night.

"(I'm) just thankful someone was there with him," cried Tara Wood upon hearing the 911 call. 

She said, "I truly believe in angels. I always have."

Those angels, she believed, kept Chandler Wood...alive.

"I should be dead...God had a reason," he told WFMY News 2's Meghann Mollerus. 

After six months in the hospital with a traumatic brain injury and a lacerated liver, his scars bare the proof of poor choices he has trouble remembering. 

Through extensive rehab, he has learned to eat without a feeding tube and stand up out of his wheelchair. His family is hopeful one day, he'll learn to walk independently again and re-train his memory.

Through all the pain, his family believes, there is a purpose.

"I truly feel like God is using him to help others and teach others," cried Tara Wood.

Tereasa Wood added, "Chandler will tell you that he's a miracle."

In the highway of life, second chances often steer back to the on-ramp...in a new direction. The key, as the family attests, is letting wisdom and love light the way.

"We tell him, God’s been chasing you for a while," Tereasa Wood said.

Looking at her beloved grandson, she emphasized, "He’s not through with you yet, Chandler, and he has a purpose for you, and you’re going to get there. It’s a slow journey, but it’s in God’s time, not our time."

Both the Wood family and the 911 caller hope sharing what happened on that harrowing night resonates with families and encourages the often-difficult dialogue between parents and their teenagers.

Tara Wood said, "I think this is a way for us to be able to reach out and let families know – talk to your kids about it. It’s not safe. Let them know – call you. Don’t get upset with them they do call you. Just go get them, and get them home safe,"

She added, "Please don’t judge other parents, because you don’t know what’s going on in their house."

In starting the conversation, Sgt. Laws suggested parents of adolescents "ask their students questions about what they’re learning in the classes... It’s those conversations they have at the dinner table or from place to place, maybe to a sports activity, where they can have meaningful conversations with their students."

Dr. Wolfe, who is the mom of two teenagers, encouraged parents to be honest about the temptations their children might face and to avoid an "abstinence-only" approach.

For example, she explained, "When talking about drinking, it may not be reasonable to tell your child, 'Don’t do that,'  because they might not be able to process through that."

Pastor Frierson added, "You break habits by introducing new habits," and he said finding friends who support good habits is key.

"We encourage youth, if you’re in a crowd, and no one in that crowd has goals, no one in that crowd has a future for themselves or their future family, you might want to mix with other crowds, because we’re marked by the people we hang around," he said.

Lastly, the Talk It Out NC initiative (which has a list of conversation prompts) suggests parents set clear expectations and consequences and offer support.

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