NORTH CAROLINA, USA — 'Tis the season for graduations and weddings, which means gift giving or receiving. We spoke to Sharon Schweitzer, a culture and etiquette expert, about best practices for giving and receiving gifts.
Graduations
How much should I spend on a graduation gift?
Answer: It is important to weigh your relationship with the graduate, their parents and family, your budget, resources, and time to determine your gift-giving. The National Retail Federation (NRF) conducted a 2023 survey stating that the average person plans to spend $120 on a graduation gift.
It is crucial to determine your spending and comfort level for all gifts, including graduation gifts. Depending on family sizes, far-flung friends, and neighborhood sizes, gifting may be extensive. Remember a thoughtful card also celebrates the graduate. Determine what you can afford, stay within your budget, and then write the check or personally hand them a card with cash. Remember, avoid sending cash through the mail.
Is it better to give cash or a physical gift for graduation?
Answer: Since the relationship with the graduate is a determining factor and the cost of living varies regionally, it is difficult to determine an exact gift amount. The cost of living can be calculated by the location of the graduate’s high school, college, or workplace. These guidelines may be helpful:
- Acquaintances and friends: $10-20
- Children of family friends: $20-50
- Relatives (sibling, niece): $50-100
- Children from (grand or great-grand) parents: $100-300
What are some thoughtful gift ideas for a recent graduate?
- Electronic photo frames
- Universal chargers for graduates on the go
- Fine pen & pencil sets
- Monogrammed luggage
- Investor’s Business Daily, Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and other online subscriptions
- Briefcase/leather portfolio with school logo
- Hallmark recommended books: A Guide to Surviving and Thriving After Graduation and Seize Your Dreams: Inspirations to Follow Your Heart Now Is the Time.
- Crystal timepiece or fine paperweight
- Electronic tablets
- Crane monogrammed stationery / initial note cards
- Gift cards.
Should I bring a gift if I am attending a graduation party/ the graduation ceremony itself?
- Avoid bringing a gift to the ceremony itself as the graduate will not have a place for the gift.
- Consider mailing or delivering the gift in advance of the ceremony.
- Bringing a gift to a party or celebration is usually welcome.
Should I bring flowers to the graduate/or to their family, or both?
Answer: Personalized gifts are always best. If you know the graduate and their family enjoy flowers, then this is a thoughtful gift. If the parents are allergic to flowers, this may not be the route to go.
Should the person invited provide a written apology or some type of a sweet token in response to not being able to attend, but their family is able to?
Read the invitation carefully. Does it include a plus one? Is it addressed to the recipient only?
What is the proper etiquette for taking photos with the graduate?
Ask permission before taking photos and before posting on social media.
Weddings
What are some unique wedding gift ideas for the couple?
Answer: Even if it is the neighbor down the hall in your apartment, your niece’s cousin once removed, or your very best friend, a wedding gift is always expected. This is simply due to the nature of tradition. Marriage is a new adventure for the couple and a gift is a sign of good wishes as they take their next steps together. Always work within your means and strive to put your best guest foot forward by looking at the wedding registry to find a thoughtful and useful gift for the newlyweds.
One NerdWallet study found that guests preferred giving traditional gifts, even more than contributing to a honeymoon fund, home down payment fund or cash. A registry also allows you to select gifts in a wide range of price points. If you would like to give a more personal gift, pair it with something from their registry for a combination gift they will undoubtedly adore.
Is it appropriate to give money as a wedding gift, and if so, how much?
Answer: Wedding gifts vary depending on your relationship with the soon-to-be spouses. On average, research reveals spending is based on the relationship. These relationships on average, spend the following on wedding gifts:
- Family Member $130-150
- Boss/Supervisor $120
- Colleague/Co-worker $65
- Friend $100
How do I handle giving a gift if I can't attend the wedding?
Answer: Have the gift wrapped and mailed/delivered to the happy couple. Attend the shower and bring both the shower and the wedding gift.