GREENSBORO, N.C. — As parents, you teach your kids to listen to adults. You encourage your child to listen to their teacher, sports coach, and music instructor. But, your young adult, whether a college student or high school graduate, should be able to discern when to listen and when to not listen to adults.
Kids need to discern when to listen to adults and when not to. Kids are so used to listening to adults, whether it's their parents, teacher, coach, or babysitter, that when they graduate from high school, they have to start seeing themselves as adults and no longer children. This means they don't need to give adults carte blanche and listen to everything they're told because not all advice or directives are in your kid's best interest.
As parents, it's a life skill to teach your kids to evaluate the requests of adults. Teach your children to spot a reasonable request. A reasonable request is something that is helpful and can make your child's life better. For example, asking your young child not to run in the road because they could get hit by a car is a reasonable request. Telling your young kid to keep secrets from you isn't reasonable, and your child shouldn't listen to that request. For young adults, if any adult asks them to turn in their work on time because it shows responsibility, then that's reasonable. But, if they tell your young adult that stretching the truth isn't a problem if no one finds out, that's not reasonable.
My daughter, a college student, was recently in a car accident. She's ok. The driver of the other car rear-ended my daughter's car. Even though the woman was at fault, she took her anger out on my daughter by cussing her out and demanding my daughter's insurance and registration info. My daughter asked the woman not to talk to her that way, but the woman didn't listen. My daughter called to tell me about the car wreck and asked for my advice on handling the situation with the angry woman. I explained to my daughter that even though she's used to listening to adults, this isn't a situation where she should be. The woman was disrespecting her by yelling and cussing, and my daughter didn't owe the woman anything. My daughter told the woman that she wouldn't talk to her anymore and they'd have to wait for the police to handle any communication once they got to the scene. The point is that young adults have to analyze situations to determine if what another adult is requesting is reasonable. And if it isn't, then they don't have to comply.
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