GREENSBORO, N.C. — This week is National Random Acts of Kindness Week. We’ve heard stories of random acts of kindness, such as paying for someone’s coffee, groceries, or meal at a restaurant. As much as many of us feel good about doing something nice for someone else, some people may not reject the kindness.
There are a variety of reasons that someone might reject kindness. One reason is that they don’t feel like they deserve the kindness. If they had a negative or traumatic experience in the past, they might feel like they’re unworthy. Another possibility is that they’re punishing themselves for something that they’ve done in the past. And they might believe that not accepting someone’s kindness is a way to atone. Another reason is that they don’t trust your motives for kindness.
If someone refuses your kindness, then accept it without judgment. Understand that they might have a reason even if they don’t share it with you. Let them know that you accept their decision without any harsh feelings. You might want to say something like, “I can see that you’re not comfortable accepting this right now. It’s all good. Just know that the offer stands whenever you’re ready. Let me know if there’s another way that I can help.”
Here’s what you shouldn’t do if someone rejects your kindness. Don’t take it personally. You don’t know their reasons, which may have nothing to do with you. You shouldn’t stop being nice to that person or let the experience sour you from being nice to others. Thinking, “That’s what I get for being nice” is a defeatist way to view the situation. Instead, continue to offer them support. Continue to be kind to others.
Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb – Body Language Expert. Write a message on my timeline, and I'll get back to you. While you're on my page, I'd appreciate it if you give my page a "like."