GREENSBORO, N.C. — We know that gift giving can be tricky when it comes to finding the right present. There can be different opinions on what’s considered a “good” gift. Take, for example, a recent article about a man who was disappointed in an anniversary gift that his girlfriend gave him. Not because it was framed photos of the two of them. It’s because she told him that she gives framed photos to her friends when she doesn’t “want to spend money or time on a gift”. Ouch! The boyfriend didn’t feel like her gift was special if it’s the same gift concept given to others.
Having different opinions about gifts can cause a rift between a couple. If gift receiving is someone’s love language then continuously giving the ‘wrong’ gifts or not giving gifts at all can make someone feel unloved, not special, or not important. Before you think that someone is shallow, Dr. Gary Chapman, psychologist, identified 5 love languages, which are ways that people feel love. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. And the partner whose love language isn’t receiving gifts, might not even think about how important gifts are or might be dismissive of the importance of gifts because it’s not important to them.
You might think that giving your partner a nice thoughtful gift would make them reciprocate. This isn’t necessarily the case. It’s about what people believe about gifts – whether it’s price point, extravagance, number of gifts, homemade vs bought that determines what they buy and if they buy.
To get on the same page about gifts then you and your partner should talk about it. By talk, I mean ask questions and listen to their answers. Ask them about their ideas about gifts – the importance or relevance to them. When you understand their point of view, it gives you a pathway for a conversation. Share how important gifts are to you. Share why gifts are important to you. Tell them what gifts represent. Maybe they don’t realize that a gift is symbolic of the strength of your relationship or the way they feel about you.
Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb – Body Language Expert. Write a message on my timeline and I’ll get back at you. While you’re on my page, I appreciate it if you give my page a “like”.