GREENSBORO, N.C. — It’s no secret that we are social creatures, and we spend a lot of time with others, whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, or romantic partners. And we enjoy talking and spending time with others when it’s easy and makes us feel good. When communication and interactions become difficult, we tend to react and not always positively.
When we get along with others, we tend to rate more satisfaction in our relationships. We negatively react when someone says something that offends us or hurts our feelings. Then we tend to wonder what went wrong and how to make things right, particularly how to stop behavior that harms us.
One way to make things right in a relationship is to set boundaries because they not only give guidelines on how someone should treat you but also protect your emotional and mental health. There’s no ambiguity in your interactions if you’ve established boundaries. Boundaries clearly define what’s okay and what isn’t okay. Maybe when someone is angry, it’s okay if they talk loudly to you, but it’s not okay if they get in your face or call you names.
When setting boundaries with someone, you must communicate what’s okay and not okay. For example, let’s say that you and a co-worker are arguing, and they start yelling and calling you names. To set a boundary, you can say, “I’m feeling that we’re both getting angry, and yelling isn’t going to help us solve anything. I get that you’re mad and calling me names isn’t okay. I want to take a few minutes so we can both cool off. I’ll check in on you to see if it’s a good time to continue the conversation.”
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