GUILFORD COUNTY, N.C. — With the new year, it's common for people to want a different outcome than the previous year.
If you want something different, then you have to do things differently. Let's jump into a tricky situation that we all find ourselves in from time to time. Many of us want more honesty in our lives. Depending on the situation, it can be tough to tell people how you really feel about something, and to avoid conflict; you might tell a white lie.
Yet, we know that people don't like to be lied to.
Let's set up an example of a potential white lie situation. A friend asks you to go out, but you're not feeling it. You're tired and would rather stay home. Instead of telling your friend that you'd rather chill, you tell them you're not feeling well.
There are a variety of reasons why someone bends the truth. Usually, in a social situation like this example, you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, or you don't want them to get mad, so you tell them something that you think they'll handle better or accept easier, and it won't cause problems between the two of you. Don't underestimate someone's ability to accept disappointment.
A fallacy about white lies is that they don't matter.
In reality, white lies can be more damaging than big lies because there are more opportunities to tell white lies than big lies. It can become a way to communicate to get out of uncomfortable situations. It can become your standard operating procedure. People will learn not to trust you or count on you because they don't know the real you.
You have to be truthful to lead a more honest life. Ask yourself what's the worst thing that will happen if you tell someone exactly how you feel; what you don't like changes when you tell the truth.
For example, your significant other makes a super dry meatloaf that's flavorless. If you tell them it's good when they ask what you think, guess what? You can bet that they'll continue to make it for you. Where does that get you?
Instead, think of a nice way to tell them you don't like it.
For example, you can say, "I appreciate you cooking for me because it makes me feel loved. There's something about the meatloaf that isn't tasty. This is hard to say because I don't want to hurt your feelings."
Don't underestimate someone's ability to hear the truth.
They can take it if you tell them politely. Do you think your significant other wants to spend time and money making something you don't like? I bet you they don't.
Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb – Body Language Expert. Write a message on my timeline, and I'll get back to you. While you're on my page, I'd appreciate it if you give my page a "like."