GREENSBORO, N.C. — Mother's Day is around the corner. As much as we know that moms are special, sometimes, adult kids may not have the best relationship with their moms.
A few common causes of rifts exist between moms and their adult kids. If there's a history of maltreatment when the adult child was young, the relationship can be rocky. If mom favored a different child, then it can cause a rift with an adult child.
Mom and adult kids can have different beliefs and personalities, which can cause strain in the relationship. When you have different beliefs and philosophies, you can feel it's hard to understand each other. Along this line, adult kids can have a different life from the one they were raised in, and they might feel that they don't have much in common with their mom.
The first step in coping with a bad relationship with a mom is understanding what you can and can't control. For things you can't control, let it go. Start with what's controllable or changeable in the relationship. For example, if part of the issue is that you don't see each other enough, figure out how to change that. Or, if part of the problem is that you two argue about politics, then don't talk about politics.
Before talking to your mom, decide what you want to talk about and what's relevant and workable. Talk about your feelings, what you'd like to be different, and how the change will improve your relationship. Then ask for her perspective and see what you can work out together. Remember that having healthy boundaries can help mend your relationship.
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