A great way to avoid conflict is by identifying your triggers and having a plan to address them when someone pushes your buttons.
When someone does something you don’t like or hurts your feelings, it’s easy to blame them. For example, a common response is something like, “The reason I don’t talk at dinner is that you’re always on your phone. Instead of blaming me, you should blame yourself for paying more attention to your phone than talking to me.” Instead, say something like, “When you’re on your phone when we’re together, I feel our conversation isn’t important to you because you’re distracted. And it makes me feel bad. When I feel bad, then I pull away from you.”
When angry, it’s easy to make assumptions about what happened and someone’s intent. When you ask questions, then you get answers. When you don’t understand or something doesn’t make sense, ask questions to get clarity. Asking questions can help avoid conflict because you aren’t making decisions based on assumptions.
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